Why New Years Resolutions Don't Work

Man is a creature of habit. If you go about deciding to quit smoking this January while having smoked for 10 years straight. It won't work. Same as dieting, exercise or saving money. The reason is, we are a creature of habit and you can't go cold turkey once you decided you want to change.

Learning of this fact is one thing. Accepting it is another. The more you try to force yourself to change, the harder it is for you to really change something. And the weaker your self trust and will power will become. The key to this weakness of human nature, is to do the changes gradually.

Let's take for example our willingness to invest in the stock market. And eventually, retiring from the nest egg you accumulated, living off the dividends. This is a noble goal. Besides, who wants to work for the rest of their lives? But look closer, and you can see the problem. The reason you want to be free using the stock market is probably, your lifestyle as of now, is quite different from the vision of the future that you want. It might be because you have no money at the end of each month and just living from paycheck to paycheck and that's why you desire to retire using the stock market.

The fact is, you arrive at that situation in your life because of habit. A collection of small habits that made you lose money at the end of the month, just about right that you don't go into debt (or small debt) and not too much you have so much money. Surprisingly, whenever you have a bonus or increase in pay, you amazingly return to a break even point where you don't lose money nor you don't save money. Amazing isn't it?

Why does this happen?

Its because of habit.

Habits are too small to notice until they are too big to change. The collection of small habits that are reinforced over time becomes a lifestyle.

Once you embedded this habit into your life, changing them is hard. That is why, new years resolutions don't work. You are trying to break a habit that was reinforced in years.

If you've been spender for all these years and trying out the challenge of saving money in a piggy bank, you might succeed for a while. But habit is a habit and will take the best of you in other forms. How many people have you seen did this? They saved money for a year but then that money saved was used to buy gadgets or luxury bag?

The spending habit is still there, you just... delayed it. The real problem wasn't the saving... The habit was the spending. So saving might be easy for most people, and they will succeed in accumulating money. But what you do when the saving is done, is the hard part. Its another habit altogether. Some kind of like a web of habits reinforcing each bad habit after another. You might have conquered the "saving habit" now, but what about the "spending habit", "the eating habit", "the travel habit", "the fashion habit", "the giving to family members" habit? All those costs money. Even if you killed one habit, you still need to kill the others to make a significant change in your life. All of this requires conscious effort. All of this requires more than just a new years resolution. If you did not kill all the bad habits that links the chain of lifestyle that you currently live your life, you are not making any changes at all.

So what are we going to do? Are we helpless? Are we not able to change?

Of course we are able to change. But it requires a more conscious effort. What do I mean by that? Let me explain. As you know, I am a big fan of Benjamin Franklin. In his biography he once set out on a quest to become the perfect man. He wrote on a piece of paper the 13 virtues that he wanted to acquire:

1. Temperance. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
2. Silence. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
3. Order. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
4. Resolution. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
5. Frugality. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
6. Industry. Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. Sincerity. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. Justice. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. Moderation. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. Cleanliness. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.
11. Tranquillity. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
12. Chastity. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
13. Humility. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

What he did was to assign each virtue to a day and practice it. For example, today is Monday and he assigned Industry to this day. He would then set out and practice Industry in everything that he do that day. And at night he would check it out on the paper indicating that the virtue has been practiced. He would then do this for the first 7 virtues, assigning each day to each virtue. Once he realized that he made a habit out of them, which means, he was practicing the virtues without consciously thinking about it, he would then replace it with a new virtue on the list. Franklin's "resolution" wasn't a one year thing, he told in his autobiography that it was a lifetime pursuit.

He was successful at making a habit at some of the virtues. But at the end of his life, he was honest to say that he found humility the hardest. Because, being a man of his stature, being well known in many parts of the world at that time, Humility for Franklin as he say is hard. He was a humble man as many people in history have indicated, perhaps Franklin has a high standard of what humility is and had trouble comparing himself to Jesus and Socrates.

So, if you want a habit to stick for you for life, make the real effort to change them for life. Firmly decide that what you're doing is a lifetime pursuit and not a fad. If the habit is worth acquiring, wouldn't it be better to pursue it for life?